i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
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On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
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Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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