Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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