Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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