Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
