with your own penis?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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