but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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