that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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