Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
