there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
