There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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