how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
