he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
