so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I think a kid would responsible me up
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
