just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
