dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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