I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Randomize