She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
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