He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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