yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
