I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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