They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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