I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
