at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
