And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
