Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
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We left an ass print on the piano.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
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I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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