yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize