My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
