Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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