Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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