This girl is more easily done than said...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...