You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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