Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
