before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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