Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
