Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
