She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize