im drinking this country out of the recession.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
