i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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