Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
