i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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