I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
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