i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
