Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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