and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
