yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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