my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
