Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
