Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
