i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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