On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
