But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
last night I used snow as a chaser
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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