i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
sarcasm needs its own font
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
