mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
