Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
