I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
