Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
