oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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