I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
