Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
