Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
