You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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