I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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