i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
